You don’t need to go through a lot of research studies; you don’t need to be an expert in photography or dating – all you need to is to be aware of what your mind says when you are browsing through profiles on dating or matrimonial websites or apps.
When you see some photos, you flinch, your inner voice says, “ooh”. Not a good ooh, it is like a pinch, like getting an injection, it is like bitten by a small red ant.
When you see photos like that, (I will analyze them in detail later) you can’t help but wonder what the people posting those photos were thinking.
Those people thought these photos were good? I don’t think so.
I think they posted these photos to just get the job done. The dating or matrimonial apps pester you till you add photos and you need forever to check if you have any photos to post, you need forever to decide which photos to post (if you have them), it takes time, you need to stop everything else, sit, think and post these photos.
When you finally manage to browse through the photos, you are not happy with the way you look in those photos – they don’t look like they are yours.
But these apps keep alerting you that profiles with photos attract way more attention than the profiles without. Besides you also are in a hurry to find a mate – you need photos right now, right away, because:
1. You want to be matched with ideal partners quickly
2. You want to get rid of the notifications from the dating or matrimonial apps and get going with what you are on those apps in the first place
So, what do you do? You post whatever you have, let’s see later! Later, maybe you will get a photoshoot done or ask your friend to take some good photos that you can post on these apps, or so they thought. It will take some time and for the time being let’s us post these photos and see what happens.
The trouble with this thinking is this: that ‘later’ never comes. You never do what’s necessary to get good photos and the time passes by and dozens of people see your blurry, poorly lit, cut up photos and flinch and swipe you out. They are not going to come back to check when you post better photos. That train has left the station, like they say. You lost that chance. Posting bad photos is self-sabotage, self-harm.
But in order not to post bad photos you should know what are bad photos and how they look. That’s what we are going to do now. Let us look at some photos posted on different dating and matrimonial apps. I masked the faces – to protect the person’s privacy. We are not naming and shaming anyone here.
What’s wrong with this photo?
· Blurry
· Cropped out of a group photo
· Distracting details in the photo: a switch board right next to the person’s head and a wire too.
What’s wrong with this photo?
· Taken with the phone facing down at the person making her look shorter than she must be.
· Distracting details in the photo: trash in the background is worse than a switch board. A couple of kids were running across the frame too. What was she thinking when she posted this photo?
What’s wrong with this photo?
· Poorly composed: her feet cut off. Her face is too small in the frame – whoever took this photo must have zoomed in to make it better.
· Not clear what she wants to convey with that quirky pose.
What’s wrong with this photo?
Looks whitewashed either through makeup or with filters in a smart phone - not her natural complexion. The hairs, skin look unrealistic. It doesn’t matter how good one may be looking with these filters, it is an outright lie to use manipulated photos in your profile. If you are hiding your real looks, what else are you hiding?
If and when you meet a date or a potential match, you are bound to create a cheap impression about yourself. You will come across as immature, vain or even stupid and old fashioned in the eyes of people who are interested in you. Can you do more damage than this? I don’t think so.
What’s wrong with these photos?
Everything!
If the earlier photo looks whitewashed, this one looks bleached. Can you believe that these two photos are belong to one person?
What’s wrong with these photos?
All are cropped out of group shots – indicates that she’s not serious about finding a good match for herself. No effort was put into presenting herself in best possible light.
What’s wrong with these photos?
The phone camera was looking down on the person making her look shorter than she would look in person.
Serious lens distortion is unflattering.
Distracting background too.
What’s wrong with this photo?
Makeup and filters gone crazy awry. Creates a negative impression on the viewer. Don’t try this at home.
What’s wrong with these photo?
Bright light from behind the person in the photo - too distracting and looks unflattering.
What happens if you post bad quality photos like these?
1. You are signaling that you are not serious about finding a best possible match for yourself
2. You are indicating that you don’t take yourself (and perhaps anything) seriously – you will only attract people with similar attitude towards life.
3. A potentially good match will walk away, he will just swipe left or ignore your profile if you post photos like these – unless he is of similar mindset and lacks sophistication.
Will you get any likes/matches with photos like this?
Bad question – let me answer this first anyway. Yes, you will still get some likes, matches with photos like this. In fact, photos like these are more common than good photos.
What you need to ask yourself is this…
Will I get an ideal match with photos like this? No! People who have good profiles, eligible in all respects look for people like themselves – they will take their profile seriously. They write a good bio, post good quality pictures. Their profiles make you stop and check the details. Those people will definitely not like profile with photos like those shown above. Because such photos speak negatively about the person they belong to.
If you are wondering what good photos look like, check out this portfolio.
If you want me to review your profile free of cost, click here to book a session.
If you want to know what kind of photos to post, there’s another blog post talking about that too.
If you want good quality photos that present you in a flattering yet authentic manner, you are at the right place. Just get in touch with me by clicking here.
If you have any questions or comments, just drop me a line here.
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